Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
