So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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