SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
