i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
