i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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