is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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