Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm jealous of your bromance
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
