what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize