let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
