last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
