A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I am one with the molecules
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
