like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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