All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
