I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
