can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
