Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
