I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
