Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
