So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
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i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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