The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
