I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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