Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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