I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
