omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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