Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
