Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
