U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
