still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
