STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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