You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
