A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want nice things and good sex
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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