In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
