Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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