my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize