i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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