sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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