At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
