I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
