his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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