so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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