i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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