Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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