i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need a beard to bite.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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