She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He kissed a someone with a penis
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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