We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
