I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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