I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
