What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
