If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You left your phone here
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