I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
