shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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