We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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