okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
