I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
there's paper in my vomit.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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