Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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