no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
