so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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