Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
