hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Two words: nipple clamps
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