dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
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That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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