My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
