I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
