I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
