Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
