dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
