Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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